Cum să îți spun? Lipsește provocarea aia. Tensiunea. Am fost obișnuit să trăiesc din dorința de a descoperi și a descoase femei ieșite din tipar cum ai fost tu. Să le descos, așa, precum un fir de ață deșirat din ciorapi. Să le trag de limbă exact ca și cum ai trage ața. Apropo de ațe. Constat că și atenția după care tânjesc mereu e tot așa, precum o ață, nu prea groasă să nu țină mult dar nici prea subțire să nu se rupă instant.
Îmi e foarte ușor să recunosc una pe care aș putea să o păstrez și una care doar vrea să piardă timpul. Una care doar vrea un pansament sau una care doar vrea să se ridice după ce a fost călcată în picioare de unul ca mine. Nu este același lucru, știi? Pansamentul cu cealaltă, una doar se vindecă FĂRĂ să meargă mai departe, alta doar că să-și continue tortura.
Din primul cuvânt scos pe gură îmi dau seama ce își doresc, și știi, în general cele care văd și ascultă reușesc să mă păstreze. Poate că și relațiile pe care le-am avut până acum au fost doar cele în care ele m-au ales ele pe mine, nu eu pe ele. Nu e ironic? Parcă erau mai multe femei pe un bărbat…
Tu, atunci, sufereai o decepție. Eram un pansament. Și chiar și acum după ani de zile de urmărit, sperat, suferit, eliberat, am reușit să accept faptul că asta este rolul meu. Acela de pansament, culmea, nu doar pentru tine…
Dar, vezi tu, eu nu mai găsesc ceea ce toți visează, cai verzi pe pereți. Am ajuns sa fiu un prost cu propria mea inteligență, și din cauza asta nu pot vreodată să fiu fericit. Caut ceva ce nu există, aștept ceva ce nu mai vine. Ori e prea proastă, ori nu știe ce vrea, ori e într-o relație deja, ori, ori, ori sunt eu prea prost să mai văd pe altcineva înafară de tine.
Multe din tipele cu care m-am culcat și au aflat, indirect că trecut printr-o decepție, m-au întrebat dacă, probabil, încă mai sufăr după cineva, sau dacă îmi stă mintea la altcineva? Uneori mă bufnea și râsul. Râdeam fals așa cum auzeai în comediile alea ieftine de pe Pro Cinema.
Nu sunt pretențios dar am ajuns să fiu mecanic. Încerc uneori să las de la mine cu tot felul de compromisuri de căcat când eu, de fapt, după fiecare partidă mai intru pe contul tău să văd cât de fericită ești acum peste mări și țări.
Te-am văzut ca pe o femeie curajoasă și m-ai împins și pe mine să merg mai departe cu multe. Recunosc, am ajuns să cred și-n Dumnezeu datorită ție. De fapt datorită lipsei tale și a aței ăleia subțiri între suferința unei decepții și obsesie.
Am încercat să trec peste povestea bolnavă ce am trăit-o după ce ai plecat. Partea nevăzută a unei povești, conceperea ei… Știi superba idilă despre care bat câmpii aici a avut și partea ei de construcție, povestea bolnavă care asemănător copiilor din țările sărace care muncesc precum sclavii să ne facă nouă tricouri de 2 cenți și noi dam 100 de lei pe ele, a construit-o individul ăsta care face umbră pământului degeaba.
Îmi dau seama că mi-am construit o viață plină de analogii inutile doar să mă fac pe mine mai confortabil cu cei din jur. Oricum sunt singur și indiferent, iar după trăirea noastră, mă ascundeam în spatele unor minciuni. De fapt ascundeam obsesia bolnavă după fericire. E de căcat… Fericirea chiar nu există. Fericirea este o dereglare psihică…
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Your preferences: Your essay matter reveals your preferences. Are you an arts individual or a hard-details science type? Certainly, there’s a distinction between the one who would choose to speak in regards to the Chilly Battle with Machiavelli than the person who wish to get painting suggestions from Jackson Pollock.
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Sklarow’s members additionally, in fact, help college students with essays. However he famous that his members adhere to his association’s ethics tips in addition to NACAC tips – and that members discuss ethics all the time. Personally, he mentioned he would supply this steering to members on the way to keep away from problems.
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It’s comprehensible that you just wish to look excellent in entrance of the school of your goals, but school admissions officers need to see what makes you actual Augustana College. They are not in search of robots. They want effectively-rounded and sophisticated individuals that may enrich their campus.
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The New York Occasions lately printed a bit concerning the lives of the hyper-wealthy stay-at-dwelling ladies romance tale on the Higher East Side , complete with intercourse-segregated dinner parties and 12 months-end bonuses from wealthy husbands for being good wives”.
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